I’m not one to judge a book by its cover, but in most cases, the trailer of a movie is a direct reflection of the movie itself. I can’t help but think that this is the case with Syed Noor’s Chain Na Aye too. Saying that the trailer was bad would be a colossal understatement.
YOU NEED TO SEE THE TRAILER BEFORE YOU PROCEED
The moment you click on it, you’re greeted with something that looks like a Valentine’s Day card given to you by a chichora fraandship boy. The dangly hearts and sparkling sound effects really don’t help. The start of the trailer honestly looks like the beginning of an overly produced Pakistani porno, I’m not even trying to be funny. There’s this overly done lady with contacts in her eyes seductively fondling this guy’s exceptionally hairy chest. I don’t even know why or how I convinced myself to finish watching the trailer, but I did. This guy grabs this lady’s waist, pulls her closer and asks, “Can I kiss?” I cannot even begin to describe everything that is wrong with this scene. I can see that the director is trying to show him as dominant and ‘macho’ but it honestly just makes him look like a sleazebag, especially when he winks. Secondly, he doesn’t even have the sense to ask for a kiss properly, it’s “May I have a kiss?” or “Can I have a kiss?” not “Can I kiss?” I don’t know, can you? Call me a grammar Nazi, but this is actually what I do for a living. Riveting, isn’t it? Then there’s some very thick, sticky blood falling on the creepy guy’s face, and it looks wholly inappropriate (moneyshot, anyone?)
All of the above is followed by Shahroz Sabzwari leaning into Sarish Khan’s arms and breaking into a song while her hair is blown all over the place by fans. I get that some fan company out there is trying to advertise themselves, but this really isn’t the way to go. More cringe-worthy public displays of affection between various characters follow, like the creep from earlier kissing Sarish’s shoulder, and some lady wearing too much red dancing and getting way too close for comfort to the creepy guy. Then comes the trademark violence between two men that is characteristic of every Punjabi movie, oh wait, this isn’t a Punjabi movie. Something about “3 lashein giren gi” and the creepy guy beating Shahroz with a golf club comes up.
All in all, the trailer was very confusing; with the worst cinematography I have ever seen. I couldn’t take away anything of substance from a FIVE MINUTE trailer. It looks more like a soft core movie with a large budget for makeup, clothes, cigars and cats, but none for a video editor (which is probably why they hired a complete amateur) than something that should be broadcasted in cinemas and such. In all seriousness, I would rather watch Sahir Lodhi’s Raasta on repeat than this piece of cancer movie, at least the former is sort of funny. Chain Aye Na is pure and utter cringe, and I can only imagine the exuberant amount of money that the actors were paid to follow the godawful script. You know the director is trying to overcompensate for lack of substance in a movie when the trailer is exceptionally long, like when men buy big cars and flashy shit to overcompensate for things that money can’t buy. Working in this movie seems like a career suicide for almost all the actors involved, and I believe that the director should refrain from putting out such cancer inducing movies in the future. PEMRA? Are you asleep? There’s so much unislamic indecency going on in this movie and you’re not going to censor any of it? Not even Mr. “Can I kiss?” I’m not a prude, I’m actually pretty open-minded, but in the spirit of being a morally responsible Muslim citizen living in the Islamic republic of Pakistan, I consider this movie inappropriate for mass consumption. Famous last words: “Can I kiss?” Okay, I’ll see myself out now.
I wonder what he smiling about. Oh Syed Noor, what have you done!
Kluchit Staff
Ameera Mehmood
